Alligator Hunting

i got invited to go alligator hunting by Duck Commander Head of Security Lieutenant Dan Chason.

Of course i said yes. i watch swamp people. It is a step to prove i am not just young and beardless.

i bought  (Martin bought me) this gun that makes me feel like Josey Whales. i was going for a big lizard so i needed a big gun. 

We got lost in the back roads around Saint Joseph, Louisiana for an hour, but after that i found myself in a sketchy trailer with my guides. i had a little 80 year old with suspenders, round glasses and carried a stick with a hook on it, a man who couldn't see his feet over his belly wearing overalls and smoking swisher-sweets cigars, and an 11 year old girl with blonde hair and pink boots (she was itching to wrestle an alligator).

We had a delicious lunch of possum gumbo and barbecue round steak then went to the lake.

They had set the bait the night before. How you catch a big alligator is you put a raw chicken on a hook, cover it in mustard, and hang it on a limb about 2 feet off the water. 

If we are being honest i was scared when we came to that first line. The gator had broken the limb off the tree. It was a big one. The fat man grabbed the line, pulled, and the 11'4 gator woke up. It rammed our boat and almost put me overboard. Then he popped his head up and i shot him. i watch swamp people so i have heard you have to hit it on the quarter sized sweet spot. IT IS TRUE. My first shot didn't phase him so i shot him again and he went down. i holstered my weapon and pulled the gator about 3 feet from the boat and he decided to come back to life. Did i pull my gun or whistle Dixie? i pulled my gun quick draw style and shot him in the nose. He threw his head at me with his jaws open, so close i could touch his teeth and right before he bit me the 80 year old hit that gator across the face with his stick and saved my life. Adrenaline pumping i put my hand on his snout, the gun on the sweet spot and pulled the trigger.

The second gator we thought was dead so the other two young guys pulled him into their boat, He decided to come back to life also. The young guy didn't have a gun so he pulled out his pocket knife which is really awesome in theory. The young guy stabbed that gator in the head. He might as well have stabbed a rock. It did nothing. His second stab got in about a quarter of an inch and the gator whipped him with his tail and the young guy went down. Then the gator crawled over him out of the boat. The 80 year old jumped boats, grabbed the gator with his hook stick. The gator jumped and was coming down, the old man side stepped, then put his boot on the gators mouth and the fat man jumped on the gators back. 

My hope is one day i will be that cool. 

It was wild.

Things that were reinforced.

1. Never turn your back to an alligator.

2. People can surprise you.

3. God gave us a fun world to live in.